Hello and welcome

did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star:

extratragic:

i stole this from twitter

To all my mutuals whether we talk much or not I love you all

captain-snark:

gallusrostromegalus:

marraphy:

esperantoauthor:

blog-carmex:

rattle-my-stars:

myusersnamegoeshere:

tiktokmuseum:

he was in the fridge!!!

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

Originally posted by ripepineapple

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

mutuals put me in your fridge

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’.
…Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”

“is that for soup?”

“No, that’s my uncle”

nasturbate:

“nice blog”

thank you im really good at clicking reblog

segretecose:

you become a bit dumber when you’re on your period because your brain is too busy fantasizing about reaching into your body and ripping out your uterus with your bare hands follow for more science facts

lgbtwrp:

3hr lectures r good for one thing and its not paying attention and doodling havve hogan instead <3

aziraphales-flaming-cock:

rederiswrites:

rederiswrites:

Don’t know how many times I’ve showed a non-Tumblr person a Tumblr post and had the whole thing derail because the poor soul actually read someone’s user name.

“Why does it say–” *squints at the screen* “….aziraphale’s flaming cock??”

“Oh no uh, ignore that.”

llamagoddessofficial:

homemadehorrors:

 HEY!
If you’re new to tumblr, get a pfp right away, and throw something in your bio. With the bot problem right now, anyone without one is likely to get blocked just out of reflex. Make it obvious that you’re not a bot!

Saw a new follower the other day that literally just had a basic bio talking about their interests, and one post saying something along the lines of of “sorry for no activity, this is my lurking blog! <3”.

That’s all I need to see!! That’s literally it! A bio and a post. Bonus points if you have fandom related reblogs. I don’t need an incredibly personalised and micromanaged blog, I just need a signal you’re real person.

curlicuetruth:

primeministerofantarctica:

protoformx:

rule0frose:

aidenwaites:

actually THIS is my new favorite doesthedogdie comment

This is mine. It’s on turning red

this comment on a transformers comic page has always killed me

the finding nemo page is really good too

adding some from the tags :3

counterpunches:

aangarchy:

justlookatthosesausages:

tiktoksinspo:

I refuse to believe this did not happen in canon

Aang consistently forgetting he’s the most powerful human alive will never not be funny to me

#this is hte most perfectly captured rendering of aang and sokka’s dynamic asl;dkgalskfjas#they’re both smart in the exact way that cancels one another out into pure chaotic stupidity @fiddleabout

katieaki:

couple’s t-shirt idea

deerstar4:

lakevida:

lakevida:

eating michigan shaped sour candy rn. i’m being informed they’re called michigummies

we’re talking upper peninsula and everything

This edible ain’t shi- *wakes up in muskegon*

shadowcoded:

can you believe they ended up getting married? insane.

mosswolf:

take me to bed. by. cozier

blumineck:

For all the stealth archers out there…